F you, sugar addiction (or, Week 5)

I like sugar. 

Specifically, I really like these

Or semi stale 5 cent candies (don’t judge me, I like ’em a little chewy, okay?). Or Dino Sours. Blue Whales. Jujubes. I’m not picky when it comes to my horrible for me, refined sugar bits of deliciousness. A bag of Cherries doesn’t last longer than a day in my house. 

I might trade my hair for a bag of those right now. Also, anyone still wondering why I’m struggling to lose weight? Goddamn. 

Week 5 has me facing down this stupid addiction in full force, clearly. The food has finally gotten me down – while it’s super varied and mostly palatable, it’s also VERY not what I’m used to. I haven’t even had frozen meals, unless you count the healthy meals I used to make and freeze (confession – I did this a LOT more when I wasn’t single, because I had someone to share with. Way easier not to get sick of things that way). I don’t eat a lot of pre-packaged foods, and I never have – even growing up, my parents made everything from scratch. Hell. I even make my own salad dressings to avoid processed food. 

So, 6 meals a day for the last 5 weeks and it’s all processed. Some of it can sit in the pantry without being kept cold and it freaks me out (think Hearty Beef and Potatoes-and no freezing). Is that chemicals I’m tasting? Sodium? Or just the preservatives? Why can’t I have a patio beer and poutine rather than weird tasting Mexican? 

The thing that’s throwing me right off this week is this bitch of a sugar addiction. It’s like a howling demon after every single meal – JUST ONE I WILL BE GOOD IF I GET JUST ONE BITE OF A CHERRY I PROMISE I WILL BE GOOD. And it’s really, really hard. I’ve starting eating my dessert really early because I need to quiet the demon down. It is dying, which is positive – I know from experience that if I quit cold turkey, the withdrawal will really knock me out. so this slow walk away is good. 

Another good thing – I lost again this week, and I’m officially in the 180s. I am trying to pump myself up to take a progress photo, but I’m still so self conscious (don’t worry, I still feel like a babe). 

So, in lieu of a full body shot… here’s my murderous love muffin. She makes me so super happy. And, even though she is a kitten who meows through her meals (Nox Minerva, don’t talk with your mouth full!), it’s really nice to have a dinner companion. 

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