I recently had my cards read, and I pulled a skunk card. The theme of the reading itself was about change – facing myself with radical self love, facing all of this imminent change in my life with an open heart and a courageous soul. So pulling a skunk surprised me a little.
My wise reader explained it perfectly.- You always know what you get with skunk. There is never an off-day with skunk. Be like skunk – always give them what you say you are going to give them. Walk the walk.
So today, Sunday, April 6… I am declaring myself a skunk. I’ve been talking about this blog for a long time. It has been set up for months. Since late January, in fact. Set up, waiting. I have about 40 drafts of “firsts”.
You see, I’m a bit of a coward. I don’t mean to be. The last year and a bit have really forced me to look at myself – to question my worth, to battle with all of the untamed scary twisted bits, to look at my heart to question the ever-present existential questions.
Who am I? And how the hell did I end up here?!
Lots of people deal with these moments with courage. Not me. I save up all my existential crises, move to Australia and learn to dive. Or leap off bridges. Lately, though, my life has been one frustrating adult event after another – broken heart. Broken car. Seemingly unreachable goals. And now, at 31, I am facing this paralyzing fear of judgement and writing. I’d like to know when I became an adult, and then I’d like to regress. Ahthankyouverymuch.
Anyways. This is me. Hello. I’m going to try writing a few times a week here. I’m hoping to find my wit soon, so I promise giggles (provided you have a slightly twisted yet slightly innocent sense of humour). But first – here’s a little bit about me.
I’m a professional woman, living in Edmonton. I like movies, geeky television shows, reading, advice columns, trying different foods, badass warrior women, and sleep. I have newly discovered how much of a geek I am – like so much of myself, I hid it for a long time in fear (GAH) of judgement. I cheer for the Rancor, I am a Cumbercookie, and when Sean Astin announced his appearance at Calgary Comic Expo this year, I squeed. I wear superhero shirts, and dress them up with heels and suit jackets. I have mad love for tough women – the Bride from Kill Bill, River Tam, Ripley, Lizabeth Salander – and I love that I have so many powerful and intelligent friends. I have wanted to be a writer since I was a little girl.
So, today I am a skunk. Look at me and my stripe-y, geeky, slightly terrified walk.